1 Rule for parent-children communication, All parent should known

 NEVER DO THIS THINGS WITH YOUR CHILDREN:

Never compare your children with each other. For a lifetime, and not just during childhood. That child is an individual. He is a soul who has brought his karmas, Sanskar, and destiny with him. So his parenting needs to be done individually. Whatever karmas, Sanskars, capacity Skills and talents Specialties All this which he has brought Need to be nurtured. His capacity is to be increased. His Sanskars are to be improvised further. But only in reference to the child himself. Which means he needs to be improvised in his own reference. Not in reference to other children. So no comparison for an entire lifetime

                           . Second is criticism. Criticism to be avoided not only in words but even in thoughts. Why is he like this ... Why doesn't he do this way ... I wish he was like that ... He is very slow ... He is not neat ... He doesn't study well ... he doesn't eat well ... Negative statements. Our thoughts become our reality. The thoughts that we repeatedly create Becomes our reality So the thoughts which a parent creates create for children That child absorbs all those thoughts. And the child starts creating such thoughts by himself also. If parents create such thoughts too often when the child is young He is slow ... he is slow He can't do anything properly ... He keeps dropping things He drops and breaks things always Even if he sits to study, he will get up soon. He cannot concentrate ... These repeated lines Become a label for that child. The labels put on us Majority of them are put on us in our childhood. And a majority of them are by our parents. And we make those labels our identity. Today we may be 30, 40, or 50 years old. But most of us do not change those labels at all. We continue to believe that we are like this. Who told us that we are like this? Our parents. And parents are always right. Since my parents told me I am like this I am like this. This becomes the personality of your child.

                            Therefore parents have a huge responsibility To always use positive labels on their children. Positive labels of who you want them to become. Apply those labels on them. Suppose, for example If your child is slightly slow And he is slow in reference to whom? You are looking at him in reference to someone else. But still if we assume that he is slightly slow. He takes longer to do everything. Maybe he takes breaks in between a task. So he is slightly slow. That's a fact. This is a reality. But our thoughts create our reality. Which means if we repeatedly Think, speak, scold him, or complain about him to others Which means if the family members mutually discuss He is extremely slow. What will he do in future? How will he study? How can we compete with anyone? If we repeatedly think, speak, and discuss it with other people It becomes a label for that child Or and that child will create this thought for a lifetime - I can't do anything quickly. I am slow. He accepted that label. Now, let's look at what other label we could put on that child. We can give him positive labels like You are perfect. You do everything perfectly. Your every Karma is accurate. Just see how quickly you have completed this. Even if you have done it very slowly. His Karma is slow. But we don't give him that vibration of his Karma being slow. Because if the word 'slow' is in the vibration He will absorb that vibration His karmas will always remain slow. Or it can become slower. Because our thoughts manifest into our reality. Don't think or speak of the present reality that you see. Think and speak of the reality which you want to see.

                                           Spirituality and meditation teach us this. How does God nurture us? We need to nurture our children similarly. What does God tell us? You are a peaceful soul. You are a loving soul. You are a pure soul. Are we any of this? No. But God keeps telling us this repeatedly. We keep hearing this and reading this. I am peaceful. I am pure. I am powerful. And gradually we start becoming that way. So just like God nurtures us We need to nurture our children the same way. You are a powerful soul. You are an accurate soul. You are clean, you are honest, you are punctual. Never say - You are always late. You never get ready on time. Our thoughts create our reality. Words and thoughts of parents Have a deep influence on the Sanskars of the child. And the Destiny of the child is created. So parenting of a child begins from parenting of the soul.  

                                     If a parent nurtures his own Sanskars Nurturing the child will automatically happen through those vibrations. So no criticism and no comparison. And the label we apply on children, that they are like this or that Those labels need to be of the highest vibrational frequency. They should always be pure, powerful, and positive labels. Don't apply a label of the negative reality that you see right now. Apply the label of the reality which you want to see. Never inculcate Sanskar of competition in children. We might find it a little difficult right now when you hear this. Because, since childhood we were taught that life is a competition. But the Sanskar of competition does not let the child's capacity to bloom to its fullest potential. Because that child always looks at himself in reference to other children.

                        Life is not a competition. That child has come to your house bringing his karmas, Sanskars, and destiny. He doesn't need to go ahead of others. Whether you are talking of a kindergarten class Whether you are referring to 10th or 12th board exams Or whether you are referring to his career. There can never be a competition between two children or two people in general. It is not possible at all. Because they have brought their capacity, Sanskar, destiny and specialties with them. They can go ahead in reference to themselves alone. But if we make them compete with someone else Or if we teach them competition Then we are planting in them, the Sanskar of jealousy Sanskar feeling superior Sanskar of feeling inferior Sanskar of ego. We teach them all these Sanskars. Because we tell them you need to be ahead of someone else. We plant the Sanskar in them That if you achieve less than someone else You can't be happy because you have achieved less than them. So we teach them Sanskars based on performance That you are good only when you achieve this or when you achieve more than someone else. This is not parenting. Parenting means, reminding them - You are very pure and very powerful And now you need to to enhance your purity, power and specialties further. The more we strengthen the soul Their capacity will keep increasing. But the more they compare and compete with others Perhaps they might get ahead of many people But that happiness, contentment, and emotional strength That needs to be present in the soul It won't be present. Because we always got busy competing with others. Show the Sanskar of competition

                                              All these C's are very important. Criticism, comparison, competition, control Every parent needs to be extremely careful about avoiding these 4 Sanskars We need to discipline children but not use anger. Balance love and law. Discipline them lovefully. Explain the benefits they have in it and then discipline them. So discipline with love. And never raise your hand on children. Never. Even if they are wrong, there is a way to discipline them. Not by raising your hand on them. We should not let their self-respect get affected. And then when children get to an age where They start making their choices Where they start making own decisions about rights and wrongs. Especially teenagers We need to be very careful And we need to be even more careful in the present situation. 

                                 To ensure that the child appraises parents about everything happening in his life. There needs to be so much honesty and transparency in this relationship Only then you can continue to nurture your child. When your child is young, he comes and tell you everything that happened. Because you accept him at that age. A child needs acceptance. Not criticism or comparison. Actually every soul needs acceptance. No matter how old the body becomes We as souls always need acceptance. Similarly a child needs acceptance. When a child is young and goes to school He comes back home and shares everything with parents. We accept the child at that time. But when the child grows a little Sometimes he might do a few things Which we do not think is right. Let's say, for example He bunked classes and went on a picnic. He bunked school and went to a movie. Because all his friends went there. That day also he would have come and shared everything with you. He would have revealed everything. Because he had the Sanskar of telling everything to his parents. But what he did that day was just not matching with your parenting. And that day, for the first time you rejected your child. You said - You are wrong. How could you do this? Do we send you to school for this? Is this what we have taught you? We said a lot of such things for the first time. The child did not know that he could have avoided telling that to you. Just like he did everyday, even that day he told you whatever happened. But that day he got rejection from you. The day a child gets rejection from parents The same day they get acceptance from friends. This is very risky. We sometimes wonder why our children experience peer pressure. Why do the listen to friends more than parents? Every child wants acceptance. If every child gets acceptance from parents Acceptance from family They will not find the need for acceptance from friends. That is why parental acceptance makes children so strong That the child will always stand up for what is right. Even if he has to stand alone. A child will stand for the right Even if the child is alone If that child gets parental acceptance.

 So when the child for the first time, did something which was not right for him Maybe the first time he bunked school or first time he missed an exam. Or he ate something unhealthy for the first time Or he consumed some addictive substance for the first time When all this happened for the first time How to parent them that first time? How to nourish them? What he did was not right for him. But he himself is not wrong. What he did was wrong. But we told him that that he is wrong. You are wrong. You are bad. How could you do this? Bad boy ... Bad girl Good boys and good girls don't do this. This is how we teach children. So that child got rejection from parents for the first time. Second time he gets rejection for some other incident. And then the third time the child stops telling the parent. We feel the child has stopped doing wrong things. He has not stopped doing wrong things. He has only stopped telling his parents. And that is where the generation gap begins. A gap is created where we say we cannot understand you. The child says even I cannot understand you. So we called it a generation gap. What does it mean to understand people? Understanding only means to realise that they are a soul. We feel he is my child So what I tell him is right for him. The decisions I make are right for him. That age has passed. They are a soul who go by their own thoughts, decisions, and Sanskars. And they have carried their destiny. We can always give them the right advice. But never call them wrong or bad. What they did is wrong. Which means - You are very good. I accept you as you are. But what you have done is not right. With this you will always keep your communication channel open. Honesty will prevail and most importantly you will accept your child. At that time your child will not depend on acceptance based on peer pressure.

                               On this journey of life It's not necessary that your child always obeys you. Today he may be 15. Soon he will be 20 or 30. He needs to take several decisions in his life. It's not necessary that he always obeys you. His own karmas and Sanskars have got activated now. Often you can see that what he is doing is not right. But that soul will often not listen to your advice. Because he is a slave to his karmas, Sanskars, and destiny. Sometimes when children don't obey us verbally Send them vibrations from your mind. Not everything can be done verbally. That's why if parents engage in spiritual study and meditation daily. They will learn the method in which You can sit in Silence during meditation in the morning And send all your messages to your children through vibrations Take God's powers and send them the power to do the right Karma. From the power of the mind. Not everything can happen by speaking verbally. So we cannot control our child's destiny. Even after you persuade consistently If your child takes any decision Which you feel is just not right for him But once he has taken the decision And it came into Karma You will need to change your state of mind. Now you cannot create a thought I know he has taken on decision. I know he will regret it. I know he will get harmed due to this decision. I know this relationship is not right for him. These are very, very strong statements. These vibrations are reaching your child. Your child is absorbing this vibration. He has already taken a decision. If you want to tell him this decision is not right for you You can say it only before he takes the decision. But once your child has already taken a decision After that you need to change your thought in one moment. And now you need to change your thoughts from fear and worry And make your thought a blessing for your child. Blessing. That you have already taken this decision. God's powers are with you. All our blessings are with you. Success is certain for you. Bless your child this way. Not just words but bless your child through your thoughts.

 Even if your facing a difficult Karmic account If he has selected a relationship which is difficult for him If he has selected a career which is difficult for him He had carried it in his destiny. But it is the consequence of the past which he has brought with him. But if you now give him blessings in the present Blessings means if your every thought is pure and powerful for him If you make his Sanskars strong Then in the present He will cross that karmic account beautifully, respectfully, and in a dignified manner. Parent needs to always remember You cannot make your child's life perfect. It is his destiny which he has already carried with him. He had carried it with him even before he entered your womb. Based on his past karmas. You cannot make his life perfect now. But You can teach him how to walk perfectly in the journey of life.

 You can teach him to respond perfectly to every scene of life. You can teach him to do the perfect Karma in every situation. It is like, suppose you are physically taking your child somewhere. You cannot make that path perfect. The road is the way it is. We cannot change that road. But how your child should walk on the road How to go around stones or turns Where to bend, where to rise, and where to make a jump. You can teach him the method to walk on that path You can do it through your thoughts Your blessings Your advice And most importantly Through the power of your own Sanskars You can teach your child The way to walk on the journey of his life. And give him the power to walk the right way. So the most important aspect of parenting Is your on Sanskars. So the Sanskars you want to see in your children The power of Sanskars which you want to give them The easiest way is to imbibe that Sanskar in yourself. That is why if every parent engages in spiritual study and meditation daily At the Brahma Kumaris Ishwariya Vishwa Vidyalaya centres throughout the world There are thousands of centres across countries So many families come everyday And every family shares this experience That when those parents start meditating When they start studying spirituality everyday When they fill themselves with God's wisdom When they bring about a change in themselves When parents bring about a change in themselves It's the experience of every parent That will be brought about a change in ourselves There was a change in our children automatically. Regardless of what age those children are at. But a change in the parent brings about a change in the child. That's why parents have a huge responsibility That their change should always be in the right direction. So if parents meditate everyday at home If they prepare Satvik food You need to give your child a healthy diet But it doesn't comprise only of proteins Diet includes vibrations also. Is a diet comprising of vibrations of cruelty good for your child? Where there was pain, violence, fear, agony Cruelty and death Is that food right for your child? Give your children a food which has vibrations of love, blessings, peace, and power.

 When parents adopt a spiritual lifestyle The child will have a direct impact of it. And changes in the child's Sanskars start happening. It's not necessary that the child should immediately adopt spirituality or meditation. When parents meditate everyday at home Then the vibrations of meditation Empower their children. If your children are studying, vibrations of power are needed at home. If parents meditate regularly Children's performance improves drastically. Because children's inner power increases. Earlier, the parents would worry This would affect the child's performance. Now parents remain internally powerful. Children's performance gets influenced positively So every parent, for themselves and for their children Need to make spiritual study and meditation a part of their lifestyle. It's a part of your parenting. Do not say -I don't have time to come to the Brahma Kumaris centre. Do not say - I don't have time for meditation because I need to take care of children. You need to meditate only in order to nurture your children well. Because it's not only about nurturing your child's body. The soul needs to be nurtured first. The Sanskars need to be nurtured first. So for nurturing the Soul first and then to take care of your child's body. Every parent needs to invest at least one hour every day In spiritual study and meditation. Environment at home becomes very pure and divine. And everyone at home who listens, reads, watches, eats and drinks anything If all that is pure Then that house becomes heavenly. And when our house becomes heavenly Children growing up in that house Become angels of this world. Your responsibility is not just upbringing of your child. You need to prepare Angels or divine souls for this world. So be nurtured by God And first make your state of mind divine. And using your state of mind and Sanskars Make your children Angels and, divine souls.

              let me known your way to communicate with your children?